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 need help.... comment please... ^^

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Kyoko-_**
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PostSubject: need help.... comment please... ^^   Sun Oct 05, 2008 8:54 am

neh.... i don't really know which section to put this... lol! ^^


but i need comments... it's a dedication for our yearbook.....

~

All the noise inside my head wouldn’t disappear. The sudden serenity ebbed away, and was replaced by anxiety. This was the moment – a moment that we all anticipated for years. We have gone above and beyond what we all could have asked for. But then, thinking about everything that happened these past years, I could say that being grown up was never half as fun as growing up.

All the noise inside my head slowly died. But then, looking into the future, everything that had happened would just be a distant memory. Would we even remember those victories that made us jump for joy? Would we even dredge up the times we have fallen?

All the noise perished. It breathed its last only for nostalgia be born again. This era in our lives have to end even though we’d cry hard just to stay for even the least single minute. This chapter needs to close to open up a new one for our future.

What I heard next wasn’t noise but a song – a carol for our joys. This is for every single sweat that dropped. That every single tear we shed. This is for the future. This is for the world. Because, as we all believe, our batch could either save the earth... or worse, destroy it. But we wouldn’t let that happen, won’t we? Thus, this book was brought to life.

~

please do comment! ^^

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Digitalis
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PostSubject: Re: need help.... comment please... ^^   Sun Oct 05, 2008 12:02 pm

huh. you need to fix this last paragraph. it seems a bit off from the rest....o.O

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Kyoko-_**
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PostSubject: Re: need help.... comment please... ^^   Mon Oct 06, 2008 8:04 am

i meant it to be a bit off.... i mean, the three paragraphs talked about the noise.... this one was about a song..... do you get how i viewed this?

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PostSubject: Re: need help.... comment please... ^^   Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:54 pm

yea, i think. Its a little obscure tho. Or maybe my mind is a bit obscure today

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PostSubject: Re: need help.... comment please... ^^   Mon Oct 27, 2008 9:46 am

lol! obscure? i'll have this piece checked by our yearbook moderator to be sure.... ^^

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~xei
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PostSubject: Re: need help.... comment please... ^^   Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:03 am

so this is what will appear in our yearbook dedication?

If that's so, I might be one of the first to read it. Haha!

I like it. The way it began from a mere noise. Slowly dying. then perished and finally a melody!
The last paragraph for me is the best.
Quote :

Because, as we all believe, our batch could either save the earth... or worse, destroy it.
this one especially. ^^
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Kyoko-_**
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PostSubject: Re: need help.... comment please... ^^   Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:08 pm

lmao! i'm not sure if ma'am would really post it there........
i didn't receive any comments from her when she received it...
besides, i think she'll really post it because this colophon is the reason why our yearbook got delayed... lmao! ^^

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PostSubject: Re: need help.... comment please... ^^   Thu Nov 06, 2008 6:01 pm

Kat, u delayed ur yearbook? xD

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PostSubject: Re: need help.... comment please... ^^   Thu Nov 13, 2008 9:24 am

^busted....



lmao!

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