Best Suicide Note Openers

I saw this thread on Gaia, and it looked fun. Pretty much, put up funny suicide note openers, closers, or one-liners. All suicide note form. Here are a few to begin with.

"I lived life and died trying... Well, I sorta quit."



"God made me do it."



"Don't eat at McDonalds"



"Be careful when you order from Domino's; they use special mushrooms"



"Grandpa's a Nazi, just thought I'd let you know."



"All the cool kids are doing it!"



"You never told me not to run with scissors. This is your fault."



"It was either suicide or rape."



"I didn't want to live after I saw condoms in grandpa's dresser."



"Tag, you're it!"



"You lose the game."

"My only regret is not killing all of you and your families."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"To be or not to be...It's no longer a question."

"I now go into the great unknown to find the answer to the ultimate question - Cake or Pie?"

"I Can Fly, I can Fly!"

"Um... Peer Presure."

"The Way of the Samurai"

"Before i was unnoticed, Now I will be."