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 IT'S ON!

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☆Vixynn&#97
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PostSubject: IT'S ON!   Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:26 pm

ALRIGHT! I'm calling you out, Joey! (Gigaforce) Let's see how much u've learned in Levy's class.
THE RULES!
Each piece must be at least one paragraph long, and incorporate foreshadowing/cliffhanger. You cannot use a previous piece, nor can u break my forum rules in posting.
OBJECTIVE:The entry must be a descriptive piece, using the five senses, ALL of them, in the best way possible.

Members will judge. Mkay? Are you up to it, Mr. President? lol

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Last edited by ☆Vixynn& on Sat Sep 20, 2008 9:11 am; edited 1 time in total
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Kyoko-_**
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Fri Sep 19, 2008 5:46 am

neh? i don't quite understand what you're upto V.... lol!

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☆Vixynn&#97
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Fri Sep 19, 2008 5:24 pm

you'll see. Smile
joey, post ur entry here, mkay? i'll have mine up tomorrow. ^^

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Gigaforce
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Fri Sep 19, 2008 11:04 pm

okay.
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Kyoko-_**
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:38 am

can i be the judge? ^^

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☆Vixynn&#97
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Sat Sep 20, 2008 9:08 am

yes kat. Smile

Here's my entry, which i'll probably end up editing.....
Quote :

"Aedan!"
I screamed for him, screamed so imploringly, so painfully, my heart ached and my throat burned. Tears streamed down my face, mixing with the fierce rain that pounded my skin like so many icy needles. I screamed again, this time my voice was drowned in the raging thunder. A burst of lightening momentarily lit the surrounding area, and I whimpered, falling to my knees under the onslaught of the storm and my overwhelming despair. My fingers furrowed the dirt as I gripped it in anguish, the rich, earthy smell out of place here. Raising my head to the sky, I was willing to let it all end. I had failed. I yelled out once more, not in desperation or need, but in sorrow and defeat.
It was all over.


aight, well its missing one of the senses...but i'll see if I can't put it in there somewhere....

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Gigaforce
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:37 pm

Okay. Lemme think of something... Okay.
Quote :


O, the darkness, it creeps upon me with a terrible chill, its screeching horror paralyzing me! The bitter taste of death, it plagues me! I feel nothing, nothing but the wrenching pain, o, the agony! If only this madness would stop! But no! The black closes in, it creeps from all sides of my vision, it threatens to take what is to be my last image, my final rendering of the world around me. If the cold embrace of death shall come upon me today and drag me to the deepest, darkest corners of the underworld, may I remember you face, my love. May your smile remain forever untainted by the evils of greed and malice. May your fair skin remain forever radiant, your profile forever perfect. May your face never wrinkle, your sweet red lips never fade. Your dark, lustrous hair, let it never gray. Your beautiful, glimmering eyes, your warm, loving caress, o, how I wish you would hold me forever! Alas, it cannot be, as I am claimed. The reaper has me shackled, bound by a chain stronger than even love itself, colder than ice, yet burning with hate. This chain weighs me down, it pulls me from you, my love. Do not forget me, as I will not forget you. May you live happily, may you have fortune on your side. May you love me forever, as I will love you! Remember me, my love, as I will remember you.


That's a paragraph, right? And I just whipped that up, so don't expect too much.
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☆Vixynn&#97
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:54 pm

holy crap joey!
i'm going to lose, i know it. >.< lol
this would make an awesome poem.

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Gigaforce
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:32 pm

originally, I wanted to write a poem, but you said it had to be a paragraph.

actually, I could have done much better, as I used the same words repeatedly. If I had spent more time on it, it would be much better. And don't count your bombs before you rule out the duds!
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&#9734;Vixynn&#97
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:40 pm

lol. u have plenty of time to work on it. The due date is next Thursday
MINE'S not even completely finished

and i prefer not to count bombs. xD

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Gigaforce
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:58 pm

...Thursday?
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&#9734;Vixynn&#97
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:23 pm

yes, day b4 Homecoming. the...25th?

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Kyoko-_**
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Tue Sep 23, 2008 1:25 pm

oh dear..... i'ts already the 24th!!!
i need to give out the results!!!!

tandadadaaaannnn!!!!

speech first from a judge!!! ^^lmao!
judging this was actually very horrifying... horrifying because i was shocked by the sudden impulses of radiant energy that wanted to burst out of my nervous system.... the dendrites that were supposed to transmit the signals between the synapses of a neuron were frozen out of fascination.... (i think i'm overdoing this speech a little... lmao! xp)


anyway,
the criteria was actually for the two of you to include the five senses and you two embraced the rule beautifully... and yes, indeed, these two pieces left me to long for more.... ^^ good cliffhangers people!!!

V's piece actually contained such despair and hopelessness. it was pretty good but then it could be better.... i need to see more sentiments.... if you're gonna choose despair for a theme, why not express such emotion that would result much impact to the reader? let the reader feel what you are feeling!

Joey's entry gave me what you couldn't V.... he inputted such heightened feelings of longing for a person you could never have!
However, Joey, you stated there that the force was stronger than love but then your statement was proved wrong by your last sentences... Love was stronger because it wasn't really destroyed by the separation between them...





so..... that's all for my comments...
and the winner is..............


:
 

another fancy comment:
:
 

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Kyoko-_**
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Wed Sep 24, 2008 6:56 am

btw, what's the prize anyway? lmao! ^^



(stupid question from a judge... xp)

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Last edited by Kyoko-_** on Fri Oct 03, 2008 5:53 am; edited 1 time in total
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&#9734;Vixynn&#97
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:17 pm

lol. watcha mean kat?

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Gigaforce
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:39 pm

prize, not price.

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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Fri Oct 03, 2008 5:57 am

sorry bout that joey... ^^ *fixes*






prize for the winner!!!!!! wha?!?! ^^

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Digitalis
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Fri Oct 03, 2008 6:16 pm

hmmmm...iono. imma have to think of something
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PostSubject: Re: IT'S ON!   Sat Oct 04, 2008 1:21 am

cogitate!!! lol! ^^

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