Writer's Block

For anybody with Literary skills and would like to display their work and/or have it critiqued by other members
 
HomeRegisterPortalCalendarGalleryFAQSearchMemberlistLog in

Share | 
 

 Inner musings of Vixynn

Go down 
AuthorMessage
☆Vixynn&#97
Admin
Admin
avatar

Female
Number of posts : 199
Age : 26
Where are you? : inna box fulla stuff.
Job/hobbies : running this site. lol
Registration date : 2008-08-11

PostSubject: Inner musings of Vixynn   Fri Sep 12, 2008 6:35 pm

So here's my poetry. Simple, concise, and revealing of my innermost emotions....
kinda


Alone

i've heard of the feeling,
of being outside looking in.
excluded
but i feel it different,
inside myself looking out.
trapped
glancing at the faces,
recognizing, but not connecting.
secluded
yearning to be among them,
but needing to stay to myself.
confused
on the inside i'm burning,
my exterior remaining frigid.
injured
crying out silently,
wanting to be heard, and not.
conflicted
reaching into the darkness,
needing to find someone.
alone


_________________

^made by niko.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://writersblock.forumotion.net
Niko
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 223
Age : 27
Where are you? : Chicago
Job/hobbies : I work at Furniture Warehouse
Humor : Humor? whats that D:
Registration date : 2008-08-12

PostSubject: Re: Inner musings of Vixynn   Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:56 pm

i suck at disecting poetry, so im not gonna try, but im here 4 you Very Happy

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.kanashi.net
Jsaviers
Moderator
Moderator
avatar

Male
Number of posts : 98
Age : 29
Where are you? : Here.
Job/hobbies : Work Baby YEAH!
Registration date : 2008-08-12

PostSubject: Re: Inner musings of Vixynn   Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:27 am

The feeling is there. Unfortunatly, nothing else is. Grammically sound, but dull.
Sorry. I'd say the begining should be lost. the first four lines. Read it then and it comes across better. Um. Just not your best.

_________________
It's not the one who asks the question,
It is the one who recieve's the inquiry.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Kyoko-_**
Lost bunny
Lost bunny
avatar

Female
Number of posts : 286
Age : 26
Where are you? : on a floating dot in a place called space...
Registration date : 2008-08-12

PostSubject: Re: Inner musings of Vixynn   Sat Sep 13, 2008 11:04 am

you need to make this alive..... like, you're yearning for passion because you are alone... or something........ savy's right about it being dull....... i need to see more emotions in this work..........

_________________
i feel like something good will happen to me today...
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.friendster.com/mirouhime
☆Vixynn&#97
Admin
Admin
avatar

Female
Number of posts : 199
Age : 26
Where are you? : inna box fulla stuff.
Job/hobbies : running this site. lol
Registration date : 2008-08-11

PostSubject: Re: Inner musings of Vixynn   Thu Sep 18, 2008 7:38 pm

alrighty. thankies

_________________

^made by niko.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://writersblock.forumotion.net
Kyoko-_**
Lost bunny
Lost bunny
avatar

Female
Number of posts : 286
Age : 26
Where are you? : on a floating dot in a place called space...
Registration date : 2008-08-12

PostSubject: Re: Inner musings of Vixynn   Fri Sep 19, 2008 5:45 am

^^ improve on this ok? you have potential V....

_________________
i feel like something good will happen to me today...
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.friendster.com/mirouhime
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Inner musings of Vixynn   

Back to top Go down
 
Inner musings of Vixynn
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» One-Liners (Jokes, Thoughts, Musings)
» Fantastic Movie Musings & Ramblings
» D. K. Christi's musings

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Writer's Block :: Poetry :: Anthology-
Jump to: